Here are some of the steps that could be taken to make a relationship last and keep it healthier always.
Stop Blaming Your Partner for Everything That’s Wrong
It’s tempting to blame your partner when you feel angry, disappointed, bored, betrayed or stressed out about your relationship. The next step is seeing your mate as the one who must change for the relationship to improve. That’s a cop-out. Trying to improve your partner puts him or her on the defensive and casts you in a negative light.Change yourself. When you address your own flaws and seek the best in your companion, magic happens.
Conflict is a normal, even healthy, part of any relationship. What’s important is how you handle it. First, steer clear of criticism, confrontation and hostility. They’re like gas on a fire. If a fight does start, try to change the subject, inject gentle humor, empathize or show your partner extra appreciation. Too late? Call a truce, walk away and cool off for a while.
Pick the Right Time to Argue
Don’t start potentially tough talks if you’re not well rested and well fed. Hunger and fatigue can unleash nasty remarks and dark thoughts. Turn off the TV, the phone, the laptop. If you’re distracted or going out the door, pick another time to talk. You can’t resolve conflicts on the fly.
Learn to Listen
The single most powerful step you can take to keep a relationship solid? Speak less and listen more.When feelings are at issue, they need to be heard. So nod, rephrase or provide a soft “um-hum” to show you honor the emotions behind the words. Sometimes, all we really need to do to feel closer to someone is pay closer attention to what it is that they’re saying.
Be Vocal About Things You Like
Boredom, frustration and everyday irritations can douse the spark between you and your partner—and more of the same certainly won’t feed the flame. Appreciating things you like about your partner revives this spark and makes them feel special. This is a recipe for a longer lasting relationship.