Dos and Don’ts for a break up.

By Marygorret Nzuki

Give a reason

You must have been thinking about ending things for some time before you finally draw into that decisive conclusion.  You’re bound to have reasons. You’ve noticed signs that you should break up. You have specific complaint(s) that make you think that nothing can change and the only solution left is to end things   Whatever it is that has convinced you it’s time to part ways, you should share that with your partner so they understand where you’re coming from.  Giving your reasons makes them cope with the bad news and helps them know how to work on it with the next person

Spend time with your friends and family.

This is a nice way to break from anything that has been bothering you.  Talk to them about what you   are currently going through.  Your friends are your best post-breakup help. At the same time, remember to have fun and party with them. Let them help you forget everything that you’ve been going through

Let Your Emotions Out.

Let it all out and cry as much as you want. Release yourself from regrets and make sure it is over as you wipe the tears. Close that chapter, find ways to let go of the pain. Allow this part of the healing process lest it grows and festers within you. Free yourself as long as you don’t self-harm

Do talk it out in person

Break up in person and not via text. Make everything clear to them.  You have to be an adult and have a face to face. I know it’s rough to look someone in the eye and explain why you want to break up, but that’s the mature way to do it. It’s wise enough to show your partner some respect and be courteous enough to break off things in person.  Be courageous enough to face them and end everything in a respectful and mature way.

See this as a success.

Lose the idea that you “failed.” Ending a relationship that isn’t right for you allows you the freedom to find one that is. Avoid blaming yourself for whatever reasons. Tthis was bound to happen don’t stress over it. It is time to move on.

Don’t hide

Be sure to go out and enjoy yourself.  It’s ok to stay home and mope on the sofa from time to time but try not to make a habit of it! Make sure you go out and have fun with your friends don’t stress staying indoors and crying yourself out the whole day. Excessive moping is no good for your self-confidence and can lead to more serious things like depression.  Make sure you surround yourself with positive people and friends who care! Laughter really is the best medicine.  That way you will get out of the hellish situation you have been going through.

Don’t reach out to your ex after you’ve cut ties

Exes may say they want to stay friends after a breakup, but usually that’s just code for “maybe we could get together again someday. If you’ve made the decision to break u, you have to follow through. Stay clear and don’t allow for any contact for some time because you might just fall back It’s not cool to give an ex false hope by sending the occasional flirty message or keeping in touch with them just in case you change your mind  You’ve broken up. You’re not together. You have to give each other space. Otherwise, neither of you will move on.

Don’t Self-Medicate

You feel depressed, that’s okay. Find some engaging activities that will keep you from wallowing in that muddle of depression. Yes, it’s time you stopped fantasizing about something which is now out of your hands.  For Pete’s sake don’t do drugs, that’s a hole you want to completely avoid.

Pretend you are fine

Don’t pretend you fine if you aren’t after a break up, brushing your feelings under the rug and ignoring the emotions you have after breaking up won’t allow you to heal. You need to really heal before moving on to another relationship. It’s okay to breakdown, it’s understandable since we are all humans and face emotional breakdown. To get over a breakup, you may try to avoid your hurt and pain because it’s devastating. But you can’t recover from the relationship when you avoid it. The only way to get to the ‘other side,’ is to go through the pain, instead of around it.