While parenting is something many mothers look forward to, there are hidden scenes experienced by a chosen few; particularly, the scene on raising another woman’s child. Unknown to many, being a mother to a child that is not your own, even for a short while, hinges you into a process of highs and lows that you may not really know if or how to escape.
Nowadays, you can easily decline bringing up any other child besides your own by simply citing the tough economy. Rarely will you find yourself raising another woman’s child without at least 50% of your approval. However, the thought that your own children may one day need this kind of help quickly tames your wild heart to accepting the plea. This is common especially when the child tables his case before you instead of his mother. Right then, the biting economy ceases to be a threat and your golden heart swings into mom mode, leading you to plead with your family to let the child into the circle.
For the first few days, your heart is merry because you have made the world a better place for this child. The mind on the other hand, wickedly flashes reality to your heart; you begin to notice that you now have to queue longer to use the bathroom, the sugar bowl empties faster, the laundry load is much bigger and that one packet of maize flour is no longer enough. It also hits you that since you did not raise this child from the start, they see things differently and correcting them is an arduous task. You wish to raise your voice at their fault but again your mind rudely reminds you, “You are a prisoner in your own house, watch your mouth.”
Your mind having shoved you into this reality, you rise up to a new dawn of questions packaged just for you since it was your idea to bring in this child.
Does the other mother wake up in the wee hours as you do to ensure that her child is fine? Does it bother her how her child is being raised? Is she out in a club having fun as you worry if the next meal is going to be enough for all?
Life’s reality is this; both regrets and benefits come in with the setting of the sun. While going through this hideous process, do not forget that no matter the situation, raising up this child even for that short while is an honor bestowed upon you. Mother Nature entrusts you to feed, shelter and discipline them; so instead of whining about what is lacking, chose to focus on the glory bestowed upon you, being chosen as the rightful mother to this child.
Raising any child other than your own, whether belonging to a relative, friend or even a stranger is definitely not a walk in the park. It takes guts in between the joyful, wishful, angry and confused moments. You will need to fuel your heart with true love for humanity to drag yourself from this extreme feelings and rest upon the one golden question: “If I were this child growing away from my parents for whatever reason, how would I like to be treated?”