78 % of the women and 79 % of the men thought they would find and marry their perfect mate. Although there is no perfect mate, some individuals are more suited to you as a marriage partner than others. When choosing a person as a partner, people who have ego, poor impulse control, and an over sensitivity to criticism and who are anxious and neurotic should be considered with great caution. Equally as avoiding someone with problematic personality characteristics is selecting someone with whom you have a great in common.
Divorced persons with children marry those with similar experience tend to result in more durable, satisfying relationships. “Marry your best friend” is another worthy guideline for selecting the person you marry.
Marrying someone with whom you have a relationship of equality and respect is associated with marital happiness. Relationships in which one partner is exploited or intimidated engender negative feelings of resentment and distance. One man said, “I want a co-chair, not a committee member, for a wife.” He was saying that he wanted a partner to whom he is related as an equal.
According to social biologists, men look for a young, healthy, attractive, sexually conservative woman who will produce healthy children and who will invest in taking care of the children. Women in contrast, look for an ambitious man with good economic capacity who will invest his resources in her children. Some support the idea that men seek attractive women and women seek ambitious financially stable successful men. Some argument support that most women and men, select their partners more as their companion than as future parents of their offspring.
Women are attracted to men with good manners arguing that the more well-mannered the person, the more I like the person. Most reasons why some choose there is one from the same status, religion, race, personality and attachment. People who get partners based on their feelings alone there is so massively high divorce rates are evidence of the number of the people marrying someone driven only by their feelings. The outcomes of a bad choice are even worse and the impact clearly so much greater than that of getting an unsuitable partner, as the consequences of unsuitable marriage partner will adversely affect your life, lifestyle, finances, emotional well being and any children you may have.
Many people when asked to describe their ideal partner, or what are they looking for in a partner, or what are they looking for in a partner, they usually come up with this description “physical attraction good chemistry, shared interests, good sense of humour, lots of fun, right attitude to life, good communication flow, ability to compromise on things” this being a general description and can’t possibly sum up attributes for everyone’s ideal partner as we are all different and with different requirements.
By Justinah Kathambi