By Anyango Sylvia
Ever wondered why your mood, energy and sometimes your concentration unexpectedly shift to levels that are often overwhelming? You probably may be suffering from bipolar disorder.
Bipolar disorder is a mental health problem that mainly affects your mood and energy regardless of your surroundings. A person having bipolar disorder is likely to experience:
- Manic or hypomanic episodes – feeling high
- Depressive episodes – feeling low
- Mixed episodes – feeling both high and low
Bipolar disorder is often associated with “cyclothymic personality” where these individuals usually experience several symptoms similar to those experienced by individuals diagnosed with bipolar disorder but are usually less severe. Cyclothymic is considered to be a milder form of bipolar disorder. It is however different from the traits exhibited by an “ambivert” person.
Bipolar moods and symptoms
We all have changes in our mood, but in bipolar disorder, you may feel that your high and low moods are extreme and that swings in your mood are overwhelming. These swings in mood are sometimes called mood episodes or mood states. Not everyone experiences mood episodes in the same way or for the same amount of time.
1. Manic and hypomanic episodes
This comes with psychotic symptoms such as hallucinations and delusions including paranoia, the shadows, the voices, the thought someone is behind you following you everywhere you go, ready to get you.
Feelings during the episode;
- Happy, joyful or a sense of well-being
- Very excited or uncontrollably excited
- Like you can’t get your words out fast enough
- Irritable or agitated
- Increased sexual energy
- Easily distracted like your thoughts are racing
- Confident or adventurous
- Like you’re untouchable or can’t be harmed
- You can perform physical and mental tasks better than normal
- Like you need less sleep than usual
- Very determined to complete certain tasks or projects
Behaviours during the episode;
- Being more active than usual
- Talking a lot, speaking very quickly, or not making sense to other people
- Being very friendly to others
- Saying or doing things that are inappropriate and out of character
- Sleeping very little or not at all
- Acting rudely or aggressively
- Misusing drugs or alcohol
- Spending money excessively or in a way that is unusual for you
- Losing social inhibitions
- Taking risks with your safety
After a manic or hypomanic episode, you might:
- Feel very unhappy or ashamed about how you behaved
- Have made commitments or taken on responsibilities that now feel unmanageable
- Have only a few clear memories of what happened during your episode, or none at all
- Feel very tired and need a lot of sleep and rest
2. Depressive episodes
The lows can be flat and devoid of colour, intense and torturous sometimes full of demons and pain inside so bad that nothing physical could hurt you. Most people find it harder to deal with than manic or hypomanic episodes. Severe depression may require medication or a stay in hospital.
Feelings during the episode;
- Down, upset, or tearful
- Tired or sluggish
- Uninterested in things you usually enjoy
- Low self-esteem and a lack of confidence
- Guilty, worthless or hopeless
- Agitated and tense
- Lack of concentration
Behaviours during the episode;
- Not doing things you normally enjoy
- Having trouble sleeping, or sleeping too much
- Eating too little or too much
- Misusing drugs or alcohol
- Acting withdrawn or avoiding social situations
- Spending a lot of time thinking about upsetting or difficult things (also called rumination)
- Avoiding contacting or responding to people
- Being less physically active than usual
- Trying to self-harm or attempting suicide
3. Mixed episodes
In these episodes, you experience fluctuating energy levels or better say energy swings. You may feel very energized and impulsive while feeling upset or tearful. Or feel very agitated or irritable, it’s like having a bittersweet moment that is extended over a while. You may also experience highs and lows very quickly after the other, within the same day or hour. It’s the most difficult episode to manage because;
- It’s difficult to work out what you’re feeling
- It’s difficult to identify what help you need
- Managing your emotions is harder and more exhausting
- It’s difficult to know how to best support you
- Suicidal thoughts and feelings intensify
4. Stable or neutral periods
It’s common to have stable or neutral periods in between episodes. This doesn’t mean that you have no emotions during this time. It only means that you’re not currently experiencing mania, hypomania or depression, or that you’re managing your symptoms effectively. You may feel:
- Happy, calm or relieved
- Worried about becoming unwell again
- Embarrassed or guilty about things you did or said when you were unwell
- Like you have lots to sort out or catch up on
- Like you have to ‘get back to normal life’ straight away
- You miss elements of your life or personality from when you were unwell
- Unsure about whether to continue with medication or other treatment
The length of mood episodes varies from time to time. They can last for a few weeks or much longer. These experiences can be extremely difficult to cope with while going through them especially when you are surrounded by people who don’t seem to understand you or understand that you have a disorder.
While you’re feeling stable, it can be helpful to think about the future. Always get professional help from time to time to manage your extremes. You may experience a number of these symptoms but that does not mean that you suffer from bipolar disorder, you need a professional diagnosis.