Fake friend?

By Lucy Wanjiru

Sometimes it is very clear that a person doesn’t have your best interests at heart, and sometimes that person will subtly display their true feelings.

It is not always easy to identify a fake friend but one can always notice some signs

You always call them first.

You are always the one to first reach out to your friends and sometimes your friends just take it for granted. Some of these friends don’t reach out to you or want to know how you are doing especially if you are working on something they don’t reach out to hear how everything is going. They simply don’t care about you.

They talk behind your back

If someone is your friend, why would they spread rumours and speak about you behind your back? It is painful finding out that someone you consider a good friend has being saying mean things about you.  It is even worse when you aren’t around to defend yourself.

They put you down in front of other people

Another obvious sign of a fake friend is if the person treats you differently depending on who is around. They are always nicer to you when it’s just the two of you, but in front of other people they put you put you down and make fun of you in ways they know you’re sensitive to. These kinds of friends are not real friends at all. Friends treat you with respect and don’t alter their behaviour towards you based on whether you’re alone or with other people.

Unless they need something …

They reach out only when they need a favour, but never offer help in return, even when you need it. They will only call you when they need money, or they want someone to help them move out or even more painful they need to borrow something that belongs to you.

Disappear when someone ‘more interesting’ shows up

They just use you when there is no one else for ‘some company’, but will jump ship when something “better” comes along. They need you when they are lonely but if they find someone ‘better’  or more ‘interesting’ they leave you

They are in competition with you

Some friends seem to compete with you especially when you have something that they don’t have; and they try to outdo you. Such friends want to appear or look better than you. Unless you are playing competitive games or having fun, friends are not supposed to compete with each other. Competing over things like jobs, attention and even prospective dating partners is not good

Fake Friends don’t accept You for You

Finally, one of the most obvious signs of a fake friend is if this “friend” treats you differently when you change something about yourself. This really just means that the person doesn’t accept you for who you are deep inside, they only accept you if you fit in with what they think you should be to them.